What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Randomize
