You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
