Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
