She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
NoShamevember. You game?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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