I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize