Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
