I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
whose ass print is on the piano?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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