Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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