Ambien. No doubt about it.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
