dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
