It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
