Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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