I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
