i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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