Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
