Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
do nipples grow back?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
