Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
