from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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