Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
