He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
