It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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