i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
