His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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