we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
