Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
pray to the hookup gods
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
