Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
