Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
