She said her name was "party"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
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