just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
