so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
