Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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