This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
