what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
And the cops told us we were all naked.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
