how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
