PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
