I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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