I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
