god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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