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So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
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