belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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