goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
