I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
