you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Buhtt sex?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I have fence marks all over my body
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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