This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
