I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize