Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
