Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
