your room smells of hookers.
And success
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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