1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
