dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
