You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
He uses pillows to masturbate.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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