I'm pants shitting drunk right now
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
