where does the pee come out of this thing
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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