You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
