You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
