"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
