Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
