He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
