He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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